


After Life

by iwasoncefearless



Category: The Maze Runner (2014), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Death Cure Spoilers, M/M, Possible talk of self harm, Talk of Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 08:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2766374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwasoncefearless/pseuds/iwasoncefearless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After escaping WICKED's control and making it to Gladers Paradise, the boys and girls of Group A and B were taken away to a Psychiatric Hospital. The losses of Newt, Teresa, and Chuck really took a toll on everyone, but when Thomas starts seeing familiar faces around the hospital, could it really be them? Or is it just WICKED playing more tricks?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Hospital

It wasn't long after being in Gladers Paradise that the remaining boys and girls were taken away to a psychiatric hospital. They were captured. Not by WICKED, but by people working against them. These people believed that the psychological damage done to them could not be repaired and they believed that the Gladers would become violent or act out in a way that would in-danger the Immunes, and even some of the people in the early enough stages of the Flare to still be human.

Remaining Gladers and members of Group B had about a month in Paradise. They enjoyed it, relaxed, and even had fun. All of that was ruined when they were taken to the hospital. It felt like they were back in the trials. This was their 23rd day in what Thomas liked to call _captivity_.

Thomas and Minho shared a room, which Thomas was pretty thankful for. But he would have given anything to be back in Paradise and he took every chance he could to tell doctors to take them back.

"We aren't going to harm anyone! We escaped and we just want to go back to Paradise!" Thomas shouted as he balled his hands into a fist.

"I'm sorry. You know we can't allow that."

"I don't see why not! Why can't you people ever let us go!" He yelled more furiously, more with venom; he visibly tensed, digging his nails into his palms.

"We are not here to be like _them_ ," the woman cringed at the word, "we are here because we are worried for your safety. The last thing we want is for all of you that escaped to lose friends due to suicide because they couldn't handle to trauma."

Suicide.

 _Newt_.

Newt's words floated around in his brain, about when Newt told him how he had gotten his limp.

A boy like Newt should never have known what it felt like to want to hurt himself like that. He didn't deserve that.

 _He also didn't deserve for you to shoot him_.

The scene replayed in his head.

_"'Please Tommy, please.'"_

Then he heard the sound of the shot go off in his head, and he physically jerked back, grabbed his chest and screamed.

"Dr. Raymond it's happening again!" The woman standing in the room with Thomas announced.

Before Thomas could process what was happening, about 5 doctors plowed into the room.

"Thomas, what's going on?" Dr. Raymond asked.

"I-I," Thomas stuttered. He rubbed at his face, presumably where the shot fired into Newt's head. He relived that moment, his worst moment, every day of his life.

Thomas ran out of the room, the doctors never followed. They knew that every time that happened, Thomas just wanted to be alone.

Thomas paced the halls, and he ran into Brenda.

"Whoa, what's going on?" Brenda asked, gently grabbing onto Thomas's arm.

"It's happening again."

Brenda tensed slightly. She was truly the only one who knew that Thomas had killed Newt, but only because she was at the scene with him, waiting in the van.

"I know it's hard but you need to move past this. Newt asked you to do that for him. He didn't want to become a monster," Brenda said soothingly.

_Kill me. If you've ever been my friend, kill me._

"I should have fought harder for him. We could have found a way!" Thomas bit at his thumb, a habit he started doing once he became stressed.

Brenda nodded understandingly. "Maybe we could have brought him through the trans to Paradise, but that wouldn't have cured him. He still would have been a crank."

"What about Teresa? Chuck? Both risked their lives for me and I couldn't save them either."

Thomas's face turned stoic. He couldn't talk about his friend's death with emotions. If he let himself feel, he would break down.

"You can't save everyone, Thomas."

Thomas just nodded and walked away. He only got so far down the hall before tears silently made their way down his face.

He eventually made his way into a different wing of the psychiatric hospital. The wing where they kept suicidal people.

It was sad to say the least. He had never been to this part before but he didn't plan on coming back. Nobody he saw looked crazy, or harmful, they just looked sad. They looked like they'd given up.

Some had visible injuries from suicide attempts. Such as scars, disfiguration of the body somewhere, etc.

_Limp._

But there was one thing they all had in common, they all walked with their heads to the ground. None looked up at Thomas as he walked by. They just passed by, almost as if they believed no one noticed them walking around anyways.

Thomas caught sight of a boy with blonde hair walking down the hall. He looked at the back of his head, studying it. The more he stared, the more the hole in his heart grew.

_It's not him, you shank._

He put his hands in the pockets of his hospital gown and continued down the hall. Thomas wondered about some of the people he saw. Some of them looked genuinely like a happy person, so he wondered what could have caused them to be suicidal.

_Newt seemed happy too, didn't he?_

Thomas flinched at the thought.

He continued down a hall, making turn after turn, watching the people. Some waved to him and gave a small smile, but he could see in their eyes how truly sad they were.

He stopped for a second when he heard screaming coming from a room not to far away.

"Just leave me alone! Let me go!"

"We can't, I'm sorry. You're not well," the doctor, or at least Thomas assumed, said.

Thomas turned around on his heel and went to walk away, he had no business listening in on a conversation that didn't involve him, but something caught his attention.

"You know bloody well that I'm fine!" The person shouted back.

_The accent._

Instantly, it reminded Thomas of Newt.

_Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come down to this wing._

So Thomas turned around completely and left the wing. He found Minho in their room and decided to grab lunch. Thomas felt bad for never telling Minho that he had killed Newt, especially when Minho would bring him up and ask if Thomas thought Newt was still alive, but he knew that he couldn't say a word about it. Nobody could know.

Nobody could _ever_ know.


	2. Chapter 2

Thomas and Minho went to their rooms after lunch and watched tv.

Thomas had to admit, it was a nice hospital so it's not like being there was hell, it was more-or-less the fact that he knew he wouldn't be leaving. They escaped just to be taken away again.

Thomas pulled out a sketch book and started drawing. Minho was really respectful of Thomas's things, so he could draw his true feelings without worrying about somebody seeing it.

To say he drew his feelings was a bit of an overstatement, though. He drew the same thing every time.

Newt.

About 50 pages of the sketch book was filled just of drawings of him because Thomas felt guilty. He killed Newt, he took away his last breath. His heart now and forever would have a black abyss where it once cared, had determination, and had love. Thomas would never be able to bounce back from killing his best friend. But more importantly, he missed Newt. Knowing that someone is gone and you'll never see them again, hurts. It scars you in a way that can never be healed. You'll always miss that person.

_You'll always miss Newt._

"Why couldn't he just be Immune?!" Thomas whispered a little louder than he wanted. His drawing pencil had snapped in the process and he roughly bit his bottom lip and slammed his sketch book closed.

"I think that everyday," Minho whispered, but didn't look at Thomas.

The room fell silent after that, and they watched a movie on tv.

Soon, dinner was brought to them by a nurse.

"I noticed that you boys weren't at dinner, so I thought I'd bring it to you," a cheerful nurse said.

Her name was Nurse Bailon, and she was Thomas's favorite nurse. She was always so sweet, and she understood Thomas not wanting to be there.

"Thanks, Nurse," Thomas said with a small smile.

She nodded in return and walked back out.

Minho decided to eat his food, and half of Thomas's, but he didn't want it anyways. He wasn't hungry. His mind was occupied with thoughts of Newt.

Eventually, he had enough of his thoughts for one night and turned over in his bed.

"Goodnight, Min," Thomas said.

"Night," Minho replied and quieted the tv, knowing that Thomas couldn't fall asleep if it was too loud.

The quiet sounds of people roaming the halls and having dulled conversations soothed him to sleep.

* * *

Thomas woke up to Minho shaking him. 

"What?" Thomas asked, drawling out the word. 

"Time for our morning run." 

The hospital had an enclosed trail. They let Minho and Thomas run everyday, letting them get their exercise. It had become a routine for them: 

Wake up at 9:00 am. 

Run trail. 

Eat breakfast. 

Go on with their day. 

Thomas finally dragged himself out of bed and got changed into some running clothes. They stretched in their room before making it outside and into the trail. 

Sometimes Minho and Thomas would race each other, just to make it interesting. Today was one of those days. 

"One, two, three!" Minho exclaimed and they both started running. 

Minho and Thomas were tied at the beginning, but Thomas started to get lost in his thoughts. 

_ Newt use to be a runner.  _

_ Until he hurt himself, or tried to.  _

_ Suicide.  _

_ Limp.  _

_ Newt.  _

_ Not immune.  _

_ Crank.  _

_ Note.  _

_ Gun.  _

_ "'Please Tommy, please.'"  _

**_ Bang!  _ **

Thomas screamed, and looked around frantically. Minho was by his side, and he looked worried. 

"Are you okay? You just stopped running. I tried to get through to you, but you wouldn't respond," Minho said gently. 

Thomas was shaking, even sweating a little. He looked away from Minho, knowing that if he looked at him at all, he'd feel guilty. Guilty for not telling Minho what really happened, or letting Minho be worried as hell for him when these random attacks of thoughts and screaming would come and Minho having no idea what they were or why they happened to Thomas. 

Thomas's breathing quickened and he fell to his knees. Sometimes after he thought about Newt and what happened, he'd get panic attacks. 

Minho sat infront of Thomas, doing the same thing he did every time Thomas got panic attacks. 

He held up his fingers and spread them out. 

"Count with me," Minho announced and held up a finger. 

"One," Thomas whispered through difficult breaths. 

Another finger went up. 

"Two," Thomas said as he clutched his chest. 

Another. 

"Three." His breathing slowed a little. 

Another. 

"Four," Thomas answered, finally looking at Minho. 

Another. 

"Five." Thomas finished. Minho gently grabbed his arm and helped him stand up. 

"It's weird how you do that. Just zone out and scream," Minho said, but never prodded at the why. He always commented about how he hoped Thomas was okay, or how it was strange, but he never pushed Thomas to tell him why it happened and he was grateful for that. 

"Yeah, let's just finish our run." 

Once they were done, they grabbed breakfast. Usually just some coffee and a muffin, then headed back to their room to get changed back into their hospital attire. 

"God I hate these things," Minho announced. 

"Same here," Thomas said with a chuckle. "I'm gonna walk around, I'll be back." 

Thomas walked out and headed down the same hallways as yesterday. 

Back to the suicidal wing.


	3. Chapter 3

He walked down the halls of the wing like he'd done the day before. His hands in his pockets, and eyes scanning the room. The halls hadn't changed. They were still filled with sad eyes and heads down low, occasional fake smiles and small waves. Thomas smiled at anyone who would look at him. He didn't want these people to feel this way even if he didn't know them.

_Maybe that's because someone you knew and love felt this way._

Thomas saw a young boy with curly hair, and it reminded him of Chuck. He smiled to himself for a moment and continued walking until someone bumped into him.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," they said, slowly looking up at Thomas. The girl had long red hair and green eyes. She was petite, small in height and size. She had long dark lashes and rosy cheeks.

"That's okay," Thomas said with a smile.

"Hey, you're Thomas, right?" She asked.

"Yeah, I am. How did yo-"

"Everyone here knows you and your friends."

_Friends._

_Newt._

Thomas scratched the back of his neck and let out a small, confused laugh. "Thanks, I think."

"No problem."

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you here? In this wing?" Thomas asked gently, making sure not to bring up any unpleasant memories for the girl.

"This wing is for suicidal patients. I'm suicidal," the girl said tilting her head, almost as if it should be obvious.

"I know, but, you don't seem suicidal to me. You seem happy."

The girl smiled softly. "You can look happy on the outside and be sad on the inside." With those last few words, she turned and walked away.

Thomas stood there for a second, taking her words to heart.

_You're the same way, aren't you, Tommy?_

Thomas cringed at the thought of the nickname only Newt called him by. He continued down the halls, hearing the faint sounds of conversations and tv's. Soon enough, he heard the same person yelling again from yesterday.

"Let. Me. Go!" The person arguing was somewhere in their room way down the hall.

"We tell you this every day, we are not allowed to, and you know that," the doctor responded.

"I need to leave this hospital so I can search for the Gladers!"

Thomas stood confused for a second. No Glader was put into the Suicidal Wing, at least not that he knew of.

"Please just let me go."

_Please._

The word burned into his head.

_"'Please Tommy, Please.'"_

Thomas ran to the room he heard the arguing coming from. He stood a few feet away from the doorway, not being able to give himself the push he needed to actually look inside the room. The doctor walked out and glanced at Thomas, but didn't say a word. Thomas forced himself to walk to the frame of the door and look inside. All Thomas could see was the back of someone's head and blonde hair. Thomas scuffed quietly. What was he doing? _Newt's dead_ , he reminded himself. _It's impossible. The person sitting in this room right now is not Newt, and you'll look like a creep if they catch you staring._ Thomas looked one last time and took a deep breath then went to turn around. But just before he could force his body to make the movement, the person in the room turned to face him. Thomas's eyes teared up as he looked at the boy.

It was him.

It was Newt.

But how was he alive? Thomas shot him, Newt was a crank. He can't just be sitting here. Thomas decided it was a dream, a delusion, something, anything other than reality. He turned to walk away, and just as he started walking, a voice called out.

"Tommy?"

Thomas froze. _You're being stupid. It's not Newt. Like that girl said, everyone here knows you._ But Thomas couldn't help himself. He had to look, one more time to be sure. He backed up a few steps and looked back inside. Their were tears streaming down the blonde boys face. Down _Newt's_ face. Thomas ran towards Newt, closing the door behind him. Newt quickly stood up as Thomas embraced him. Both boys were in tears, but neither said a word. They hugged each other as tight as they could and for as long as they could. After about 5 minutes, Newt spoke up. "I bloody missed you, ya' shank."

Thomas's voice cracked as he responded. "Newt.. Newt, how are you here?"

Newt pulled his face back far enough to look at Thomas. He had a smirk on his face, the one Thomas loves. "I don't know what you're bloody talking about."

"I'm serious," Thomas replied.

Newt's smirk disappeared and he turned serious. "Sit down, I'll explain. Is everyone else here, too?"

Thomas nodded.

"Good. But I need to talk to you first, no one else."

Thomas slowly pulled his body away from Newt's, although his heart begged him not to, and he sat on Newt's bed. Newt soon followed and sat infront of Thomas.

"Why do you need to talk to me first?" Thomas asked, rubbing away any left over tears.

"Because I didn't exactly think you told people you shot me, and that's got a lot to do with the story I'm about to tell you."

_Shot._

_Gun._

_Killed_ _Newt._

**_Bang!_ **

Thomas screamed and quickly scooted to the far corner of Newt's bed.

"Tommy, what's wrong with you?" Newt asked.

_"'Please Tommy, Please.'"_

Anytime someone said the word 'Tommy' or 'Please', it instantly brings back those words. The last words Newt spoke to Thomas before he shot him. Thomas tried to catch his breath as he looked at Newt. Newt's brown eyes stared at Thomas with concern. "I just," Thomas started, still trying to catch his breath. "I just have flashbacks." Newt instantly knew what Thomas meant and he quickly wrapped his arms around Thomas comfortingly. Newt's chest pressed against Thomas's back and his arms were around Thomas's torso. Thomas's breathing slowed and he closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down. "How could you ask me to kill you, Newt?" Thomas asked, tears quickly filling his eyes. He forced his head into his hands and stayed that way.

"I chose you because I trust you. If I had to die, I wanted it to be from someone I care a lot for. That's why it was you. I didn't want to become.." Newt paused, "like them."

"So you died?" Thomas asked, slowly lifting his head up.

"Not exactly. I was a Crank, you know that. The Flare had me past the Gone but I still had these surges of myself come through. One minute I was crazy, and for a split second, I was me again. At the last second, before you shot me, I was me again. I closed my eyes, and you shot me. But you were shaking so much, you didn't shoot me in the side of the head, you shot me in my collar bone. I was dying pretty quickly. But before I knew it, the same thing that picked you up when you were in the Scorch, came and got me. They took me back to WICKED. But it wasn't the normal workers that we'd seen before. This was a woman, I think she said she was a Chancellor."

"Chancellor Paige, yeah. She was on our side. She gave me a map to get us all out of the headquarters," Thomas said. Newt looked at him confused. "I'll explain that later. Continue."

"Anyways. Chancellor Paige, I suppose, was in the room. I was on a metal table and doctors were poking and prodding at me, I was nearly unconscious, I couldn't tell what was happening. All I heard her say was that I could trust her and the doctors. I blacked out soon after that. When I woke up, I felt so much better. I didn't understand. I felt no pain where I was shot, and I didn't feel like a Crank. I felt like me. The Chancellor was there when I woke up, and she sat next to me. She said that they removed the bullet and I would heal. She took my hand and told me that through The Maze and the Scorch Trials, she herself gathered enough information to make a cure. Chancellor Paige said she couldn't share it with her workers, she thought that they would betray her. She said she didn't mess with my memories because I wouldn't want them back. But she gave me an envelope and told me to give it to you. She put me through a flat trans, and before I walked through, she told me WICKED wasn't suppose to turn out this way, and that I needed to find you guys."

Thomas at some point had leaned back into Newt's arm's and just let Newt hold him as he spoke. "So you're cured? Does that mean you're Immune now or you might get sick again?"

"She said with the Flare, once you have it, you can't get it again if you're cured. So I guess that makes me Immune now," Newt said with a smile.

Thomas slowly pulled away from Newt's embrace and pulled back a piece of the gown on his shoulder. He saw a small scar on his collar bone from where Thomas had shot him.

"It's okay, Thomas. I'm here now," Newt said as he gently squeezed Thomas's wrist.

Thomas nodded slowly. "Where's the envelope?"

Newt opened a dresser and pulled out an envelope addressed to Thomas. "Here," Newt said as he handed it to him.

Thomas looked at Newt before slowly opening it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you think. :)


	4. Chapter 4

"What's it say?" Newt asked.

Thomas looked at Newt slowly before reading it out loud.

_**Dear Thomas, it's Chancellor Paige. I hope it doesn't take you too long to receive this letter.** _ _**I hope you get to see Isaac Newton, or Newt as you all like to call him, very soon. I'd like to say thank you for getting everyone to safety in Paradise. I can't tell you this in person because I don't want to risk anyone in WICKED finding out where I have sent you all. I'm sorry for your losses, including Chuck and Teresa. I hope you know that I am on your side and WICKED was not suppose to be this way. People have turned against me, and I'm trying to find a way to shut WICKED down. I truly hope you all lead a happy life after this. Goodbye, Thomas.** _

Newt looked at Thomas with sadness in his eyes. "Teresa died?"  

"Yeah. She died protecting me as we were getting everyone through the Flat Trans." Thomas looked down and fidgeted with his hands. He hated knowing he'd lost so many people he cared for.

"Well. Chancellor Paige seems like she really was on our side. That's good, especially if she can actually shut WICKED down," Newt responded.

Thomas slowly nodded, a question in the back of his mind bothering him. "Newt, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Are you still suicidal? Is that why you're in this part of the hospital?"

Newt closed his eyes momentarily before he spoke up. "No. They put me in this part because they noticed my limp, assessed what caused it and determined that it was a suicide attempt. How the hell they knew that, I don't know, but they put me here as a precaution. Listen, Tommy. I'm not going to hurt myself in here, you don't need to worry about that. It was a long time ago."

Thomas looked Newt directly in the eyes. "Promise me that you will never try to kill yourself again, okay? I know it was a long time ago, but it upsets me so much. I definitely did not expect for you to have gotten your limp that way."

"I promise, but I didn't mean for you to find out that way, either," Newt whispered, a pain stirring in his chest.

"I understand. You couldn't help what you said. You were sick."

Newt looked away momentarily and decided to changed the subject. "So, if everyone else is here, I should probably let them know I'm alive. When they ask what happened, I'll say I got shot, but I won't say it was by you, okay?"

"I don't know. Maybe Minho should know," Thomas informed.

"If you want to let him know, that's okay. We can tell him the whole story, but I don't want everyone else knowing. I don't want people mad at you for something I asked you to do, and I don't want people knowing that I asked you to kill me, either."

"Well Brenda knows, because she was in the van and saw. But other than that, no one else knows," Thomas stated.

Newt nodded and stood up. "Alright, shank. Lead me to Minho," he said with a smile.

Thomas laughed, the first real laugh he's had in awhile, and stood up. He walked out of the room and watched Newt. He seemed happy, energetic, like he was glad to be here, glad to be alive and Immune. Newt caught a glimpse of Thomas staring and just smiled at him.

"Newt, I really missed you," Thomas told him, still fidgeting as he did so.

"I really missed you too, Tommy."

Thomas continued down some hallways before they made it out of the wing and back to Thomas's part of the hospital. "Stay out here for a second. I'll let you know when to come in, okay?"

Newt nodded at Thomas as he watched him walk into the room.

"Hey, Minho?" Thomas said as he walked into his room and sat on his bed.

"Yeah?" Minho replied, looking bored as he watched television.

"I need to show you something," Thomas told him.

That caught Minho's attention, and he looked at Thomas. "Okay?" Minho asked, confused.

"Come on in," Thomas shouted towards the door.

It took a few seconds, but Newt walked in nervously. Minho's jaw instantly fell open, but he wasn't comprehending what was happening. "That's..." Minho started, but never finished.

"Impossible? I know," Newt said with a shy smile. It wasn't until Newt spoke that Minho processed everything. He jumped up and ran to Newt, hugging him tightly.

"This isn't real," Minho whispered to himself.

"It's real, buddy. I'm bloody glad to see you," Newt said.

"Explain to me how you're here," Minho demanded.

Newt nodded and slowly pulled away.

Minho had a few tears streaming down his face, but quickly wiped them away.

"I think you need to sit down for this," Newt stated.

Minho sat on his bed, and so did Newt. They smiled at each other before Newt gave Thomas a nod, then went into a full explanation.

* * *

"Thomas what?!" Minho shouted, gaining a few looks from bypassers.

"I gave Thomas a note, asking him to kill me when I could feel myself starting to lose it. I told him to open it when the time was right, then you guys saw me at the Crank Palace. I was mad at Thomas for not doing it, but I guess he hadn't read the note yet. Thomas and I saw each other again after that, and he got out of the van to try to take me with him. I wouldn't let him. I started attacking him, I told him if he didn't kill me, I would kill him. At the last moment, I became myself again, and I pleaded for him to do it. He did."

_"'Please Tommy, Please.'"_

The flashback of words made Thomas jump a little. When Newt and Minho gave him a weird look, he just nodded, assuring them he was fine.

"And he did it? Just like that?" Minho asked angrily.

"No. Thomas fought hard for me. He risked his life just by getting out of the van to talk to me, the place was filled with Cranks. I asked him to, Min," Newt said, cringing a little at the memory.

"Why would he hide that from me?"

"Because Tommy knew it would tear you apart if you knew that he killed me. Even though he didn't. Perfectly fine and healthy here," Newt smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

Minho shared a smile in return and looked over at Thomas, who looked completely out of it.

"Is he okay?" Minho asked.

"I don't know. He says he gets flashbacks. He zones out and then screams," Newt told him.

"He must scream when he remembers shooting you. That happens to him a lot. I never knew why, though, but he freaks out. It gives him panic attacks."

Newt looked over at Thomas with sad eyes. He slowly stood up and walked over to him, grabbing Thomas's hand gently. "Thomas?"

Thomas pulled out of his trance and looked at Newt. "Mm?"

"You okay?" Newt questioned.

"Yeah. I was just.." He trailed off.

"I know," Newt responded softly.

There was silence between them for awhile.

"Is there any way that you can get out of that part of the wing and stay up here with the rest of us?" Thomas asked.

"I could. I'd have to get a trial first for them to determine if they think I'm still suicidal or not, but if they think I'm fine, then I can move to this part with all of you," Newt told Thomas, a smile gracing his lips.

Minho knew about why Newt had his limp, he was part of the Glade when it happened. But Newt refused to tell anyone who didn't know already what happened.

"Then that's what we'll do. I'll talk to one of the nurses and see if she can arrange something," Thomas announced.

"We need to tell everyone else that you're here, but what are you going to tell them? Surely you don't want to tell everyone that one of your best friends almost killed you," Minho said, shooting Thomas a dirty look.

Minho was mad at Thomas, indefinitely. But he couldn't be mad forever. Deep down he understood why he shot Newt. It was just as hard for everyone to see Newt go insane as it was for Newt to actually be the one who was sick.

"Let me handle that," Newt stated. "Just try to gather all the Gladers and people of Group B somewhere."

So that's what Minho did. He gathered all their friends into the cafeteria, and Thomas stayed back in the room with Newt as he did so. Newt and Thomas awaited for Minho to return, where they would head into the cafeteria and tell everyone that Newt was alive, well, and cured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry this took so long to upload! I've been so busy, and I've actually started another fan fiction as well, so it's a little hard to keep up with them all. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed, and I will try my hardest to update more often. Also, I want to thank Sydney for commenting on my story in early January. I'm glad you enjoy the story and if you hadn't commented on this, I might not have gotten around to writing it at the time I did, so thank you. :)


	5. Chapter 5

"Newt?" Thomas asked, looking over at his friend.

"Yeah, Tommy?"

"I, um," Thomas started, but couldn't find the words he needed. "I'm sorry, that I shot you."

"Tommy, I asked you to. If you hadn't bloody shot me, WICKED might have never found me and cured me. I might have died some horrid death elsewhere. You might have actually saved me," Newt said, trying to console his friend.

"You say that, but I don't know. You're someone that I care so deeply for, I always have, I should have just brought you with us." Tears formed in the brunette's hazel eyes as he spoke.

Newt sighed and stood up, making his way over to Thomas and sitting beside him. He grabbed his hand before speaking, "I know this all feels like a dream to you, like I'm not really here. But Tommy, I swear to you I am. I'm not going anywhere. I know that what I asked you to do will affect you forever, and I'm so sorry for that. But instead of thinking that you hurt me, think of how you saved me. If I wasn't shot, WICKED wouldn't have got me. They would have let me die out there. Chancellor Paige gave me a second chance, and I'm so bloody thankful for that. I'm sorry for some of the things I said when I was sick-"

Thomas rested his head on Newt's shoulder and sniffled before interrupting. "Please, don't be sorry. I know you couldn't help it." Tears slipped down his face and fell onto Newt's shoulder.

Newt used his thumb to wipe them away, and he slowly ran his fingers through Thomas's hair. "You're right, I couldn't help it. But I'm still sorry for it. I didn't mean it. I wanted to hurt all of you, and I tried so damn hard not to. I would have never forgave myself if I hurt any of you."

Thomas wrapped his arms around Newt's waist and squeezed gently. "I'm just so glad that you're here now."

Newt smiled at Thomas, sharing a comforting moment together before Minho walked in. Both boys instinctively sat straight up and pulled apart, acting as if nothing had happened.

"Everyone's all gathered in the cafeteria. They don't know what's going on, afterwards we'll talk to the nurse about getting you a trial to switch to our wing," Minho announced.

Thomas and Newt stood up and walked over to their friend.

"Hey, listen," Minho whispered to Thomas, grabbing onto the brunette's arm and pulling him closer. "I'm mad at you, but just give me some time and I'll move past it, okay? I don't hate you. I probably would have done the same thing. I just want you to know that you're still my friend, and we'll be fine."

Thomas nodded, but stayed silent. They all walked towards the cafeteria, holding their breaths.

 _What if they think it's another trick? That Newt isn't really here?_ Thomas pushed the thought away, hoping people would just be happy that he was alright. _How did Newt of all places end up here, though?_

Thomas already knew the answer. The hospital gathered any remaining members that WICKED had experimented on. They must have known Newt was alive and part of the trials.

When Thomas finally pulled away from his thoughts, he saw that they were waiting outside the cafeteria doors.

"Are you ready for this?" Minho asked, directing his question towards Newt.

Newt nodded and gave a small but fearful smile. "Let's do this."

They walked in slowly. For a few seconds, the room was dead silent. Thomas, Newt, and Minho sat on a cafeteria table, facing all the Gladers, and Group B.

"Is that.." Frypan started, but couldn't finish.

"This can't be real," Gally stated.

"How you all doing, shanks?" Newt said, smiling as he talked.

No one responded.

All eyes were glued to Newt, and he began speaking once again. "Yes, it's me, and it is real."

Without warning, the room erupted into questions.

"How is he here?"

"He doesn't look like a crank to me!"

"But he didn't go into the Flat Trans with us."

Minho stood up and yelled, "Slim it! Let him explain." After speaking, he sat back down. He gave Newt a nod, telling him to start when he's ready.

Newt took a deep breath, and began. "Long story short, yes, I was a Crank. I was past the Gone. Some Munie passing by shot me, WICKED came and got me. They took the bullet out, saved me, and Chancellor Paige said she gathered enough information to make a cure. She said she couldn't trust the people she worked with, that the cure hadn't been tested, but that I could trust her. She gave it to me before I passed out, and when I woke up, I felt completely normal. No pain from being shot, I didn't feel sick, and she sent me through a Flat Trans. I was only out in the town a couple days before people from this hospital came and got me."

The room erupted into questions once again.

"You were shot?!"

"Chancellor Paige helped you?"

"What was being a Crank like?"

Newt and Thomas exchanged a knowing look about what the real story was. Newt stood up and shushed them. "Slim it. All you need to know is I'm fine, and I'm Immune now."

The room fell silent, only for a few seconds, before tons of people ran up to Newt and started hugging him.

"Glad to see you again, man," Gally said as he shook Newt's hand and gave him a quick hug.

Frypan gave Newt a hug for 5 minutes before speaking. "We haven't seen you in this part of the wing, where are you staying?"

Newt pulled away just enough to look at his face. "Um.."

"He's in a part of the hospital with other teenagers who had the Flare," Thomas stated quickly, obviously lying.

"Well, I hope you can stay with us soon," Frypan told him, smiling sincerely.

Newt just nodded and mouthed a 'thank you' to Thomas.

Once everyone was done saying what they needed to with Newt and giving him dozens of hugs, all of their friends eventually dispersed, leaving just Thomas and Newt.

Minho went to go talk to a nurse about Newt's arrangements. He said he was going to talk to Thomas's favorite nurse, who was also Minho's favorite, because he thought she would be the most willing to help.

Newt and Thomas both sat on the cafeteria table, facing each other.

"Do you think we'll ever get out of this hospital?" Thomas asked.

Newt nodded, although hesitantly, and looked Thomas directly in the eyes. "I think they'll see that we're not dangerous, and soon we can go wherever we want, start new lives."

"I want to leave here soon. Maybe go back to Paradise, maybe go to a different state. But wherever I go, I'm not leaving the Gladers."

"I know what you mean. Everyone here is the only family I've got, and I can't leave them behind," Newt whispered, averting his eyes from Thomas's and looking to the ground.

"Hey. Don't get upset, we're all together and no ones going anywhere," Thomas told him softly, grabbing Newt's hand.

It took awhile, but Newt finally looked up at their hands and slowly intertwined his fingers with Thomas's. He looked back up at his friend before speaking. "You know, Tommy, you were always my favorite," Newt chuckled, "you somehow always pushed yourself beyond your limits and when you showed up, you kicked our arses into gear. Without you, we'd still be in that Maze."

"Somehow I doubt that," Thomas smirked. "You guys are smart, you would have figured it out."

"Maybe. But it would of took us a hell of a lot longer to figure it out than you did." Newt slowly laid down on the cafeteria table, placing his head in Thomas's lap, and closing his eyes. He still held onto his friends hand tightly.

Thomas just smiled, running his thumb over Newt's knuckles as he did so.

"Tommy, I need you to do something for me," Newt whispered, still not opening his eyes.

"Anything," Thomas responded.

"I need you to kiss me."

"What? I-"

"I've never been kissed before, at least not that I can remember. I want to know what it's like," Newt whispered, like it was a secret between just him and Thomas.

There was silence, and right when Newt was about to speak, Thomas leaned down and kissed him. It was gentle, but passionate. Two lips moving in synchronization. At some point, Newt let go of Thomas's hand and cupped his face instead. Thomas was running his thumb down Newt's cheek. For awhile it was just him and Newt, and it felt like the world only included those two, and no one else.

Thomas's lips were soft against Newt's, just barely touching the blonde's. But Newt knew they were there, he could feel them, and he melted against them. He craved Thomas's kisses, he never wanted them to end. He cherished the last few moments of the kiss, and Thomas soon pulled away. His lips still hovered over Newt's, occasionally brushing against his as he waited for Newt to speak. Both boys still had their eyes closed as they tried to catch their breaths.

"Bloody hell," Newt mumbled, more to himself than to Thomas.

Thomas didn't respond. Instead, he slowly opened his eyes and stared at Newt's lips just an inch below. He mapped them in his head. All the lines, curves, and dips around and on his lips. Thomas decided to gently take Newt's bottom lip into his teeth and tug at it gently. He smirked to himself when he heard an uncontrollable noise escape from Newt's mouth. He gave him one last hasty kiss before sitting straight up again.

"That was one hell of a first kiss, Tommy," Newt said smiling. He opened his eyes slowly before Thomas spoke.

"Good. Glad that I could give you the kiss of a lifetime," Thomas joked.

"Now I didn't say that, you shank. I just said it was one hell of a kiss." Newt told him between laughs.

Minho walked in but neither Thomas nor Newt bothered to move. They were too comfortable in each others presence to care what Minho might say about their current position.

Minho raised an eyebrow at both of them, but said nothing about it. "The nurse says we have a trial tomorrow at 10 am."

Both boys nodded at Minho before he turned to walk back out.

"Maybe if I'm lucky, they'll even let me room with both of you," Newt told him, looking up at Thomas.

"Hopefully. But my main concern is at least getting you out of that wing. If they don't let you room with Min and I, we could always sneak you in anyways," Thomas snickered and winked at Newt.

The blonde laughed uncontrollably for a minute. "I bet you both bloody would." Once Newt stopped laughing, he sat up and turned to face Thomas. "I've got to tell you something."

"If it's that I'm a great kisser, you don't have to say it, I already know." Thomas smirked, joking once again.

"That's true, but that's not what I was trying to say," Newt chuckled. "Look, Tommy. I've liked you ever since you first showed up in the Maze. I just never said or did anything about it because the last bloody thing I wanted to be worrying about is a guy. I wanted to try to stay alive, and I figured that if I made it out and I was okay, that I'd tell you. Obviously that turned out a little different then I hoped, but-"

Newt suddenly felt a pair of lips on his and hands holding his face. He made a little noise in the back of his throat, probably due to being surprised, and kissed back.

 _God_ , Thomas loved those little noises he made.

Newt rested a hand on Thomas's waist, still trying to get ahold of the whole kissing thing.

Thomas pulled away from the kiss but kept his lips against Newt's. Newt leaned forward, trying to capture Thomas's lips in his own once more. They shared another kiss before Thomas spoke up. "I like you too, Newt. I always have. I understand what you mean about having other things to deal with besides a guy. I felt the same way. Their were so many times that I just wanted to hug you, or kiss you, but I needed to focus on saving us- saving _you_. That's why I fought so hard for you to come back with us. I needed you to survive so that one day, I could do this. So that I could sit here and kiss you and tell you how I feel about you. But you're here now, and I'm so thankful for that."

Newt ran his thumb down Thomas's cheek before quickly jumping into his lap and hugging Thomas.

Thomas was surprised, but quickly reciprocated the hug.

Newt whispered into his ear, "Thank you, for everything, Tommy."

Thomas's heart melted at the nickname. The nickname that he could now hear from Newt, his best friend, without having panic attacks anymore. Because Newt was here now, and maybe Thomas would still be affected from shooting Newt, but he was alive and Thomas couldn't ask for anything more than being able to have Newt back in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments or kudos, hope you enjoyed. :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains talk of self-harm.
> 
> I've made a Tumblr page dedicated specifically to The Maze Runner and Teen Wolf. I'll accept promos to write on there, so I'll be posting a lot of work on my Tumblr. My username is NewtWasFearless, check it out if you'd like. :)
> 
> SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS IN SO LONG. I PROMISE I WILL TRY HARDER.

Thomas and Newt sat like that for awhile - Newt sitting in Thomas's lap, arms wrapped around each other. Thomas would rub his hand up and down Newt's back, and Newt would occasionally squeeze Thomas tight, then loosen his grip.

Newt let his grip on Thomas go, and he intertwined his own fingers together and looked down at them.

"You okay?" Thomas asked, concern lacing his words.

Newt threw his arm's in the air, as if saying that he didn't know. "Yeah, I guess. Just a lot to process in such a short time, you know?"

"What's on your arm?" Thomas questioned, and went to reach towards it, but Newt defensively drew his arms back in.

"Nothing. But like I was saying-"

"Newt, what is it?" Thomas interrupted.

"It's nothing, Tommy."

Thomas's eyes locked with Newt's. "Isaac Newton..."

"You know I hate that," Newt said.

"Then I won't say it again, if you answer my question."

"Can we just drop it? I said it's nothing," Newt told him.

Thomas hesitated then instantly grabbed Newt's wrists, making sure not to hurt him, and examined his arms.

"These look like scars. Why do you have scars on your arms?" Thomas asked, his voice cracking and breaking with emotion.

Newt dropped his head and let Thomas hold onto his wrists. He stayed quiet for a few minutes before answering. "You know back in the Maze, before I tried to kill myself, there were signs, but nobody ever noticed. I was a Runner, so it was common for people to come back with quite a bit of cuts and scrapes. I, on the other hand, would get cut quite often on my arms, although it wasn't an accident, I did it on purpose. Nobody ever noticed that it was intentional because that was such a common thing to happen for the Runners - to get bruised and beat up inside the Maze."

Thomas ran his thumbs over the scars. He could feel the bumps of the raised tissue, even from so long ago. He kissed them gently, then put his fingers underneath Newt's chin and lifted it up slowly. "Do you still do that to yourself?" Thomas asked.

Newt's eyes were teary, but he nodded slowly.

Thomas stood up and scooped Newt into his arms. People would be coming into the cafeteria to eat dinner soon, so he needed to get Newt out of there if they wanted to continue the conversation without being overheard.

Newt's head nuzzled into Thomas's chest, and the brunette could hear quiet sobs coming from the blonde in his arms. 

Thomas walked to his room, sat on his bed and placed Newt back into his lap. Minho wasn't there which was good, Thomas didn't know what he would say if Minho asked why Newt was crying.

Newt held on tight to Thomas's hospital gown, soaking it with his tears. Thomas kissed the top of Newt's head and rubbed his arm comfortingly. He let Newt cry for awhile before bringing the subject back up.

"Why do you still do it?" Thomas asked sympathetically.

"It's so bloody hard to explain," Newt whispered between sobs. "It's like I want to hurt myself, but I know I shouldn't. I know people care for me and they'd be devastated if they knew, but this little voice in my head just says I should, and that they don't actually care. I haven't done it for awhile, but I always relapse. It's just a matter of time."

Thomas wiped away some of Newt's tears and took a deep breath. "I care, Newt. So does Minho, Gally, Frypan, Jorge, Brenda, everyone here cares for you. I want to help you stop this."

Newt shook his head. "I don't think you can."

"Then we'll work on it. If you feel upset, or like you want to hurt yourself, tell me. I don't care if it's 4 am, I will talk you through it, and help with whatever is bothering you."

Newt didn't say a word, but Thomas could still hear him crying.

"Look at me," Thomas whispered.

Newt's eyes slowly met Thomas's amber ones.

Thomas laid one hand on the back of Newt's neck and kissed him like it was the last kiss they'd ever share. Newt immediately relaxed into the kiss, and Thomas ran his fingers through Newt's hair. They kissed like they didn't know whose air they were breathing. It was passionate, and full of love. Both boys devoured each other like their lives depended on it.

Newt forgot every thought going through his mind as Thomas kissed him. It's almost as if the world stopped spinning as soon as his lips met Thomas's - like every bad thing that's ever happened to them suddenly vanished.

Thomas felt like he couldn't get enough of Newt. He didn't want Newt to feel the way he did, or harm himself in any way. He didn't know how to help him other than to show Newt how much he truly does care.

Soon, they broke apart from the kiss, lingering at each other lips.

"How do you bloody do that?" Newt asked.

"Do what?" Thomas questioned as he kissed away the rest of Newt's tears.

"Kiss me and make everything just go away."

"I thought we established this earlier, kiss of a lifetime, remember?" Thomas said, cracking a smile.

Newt laughed. "It is not the kiss of a lifetime, you bugger."

"Say what you want, but you know I'm right."

"Maybe you are right," Newt told him, a smile tugging on the corners of his own lips. He curled up into Thomas's lap and closed his eyes. "It's been one hell of a day, hasn't it?" Newt whispered.

"Yeah, it has."

"But I wouldn't change it for anything," Newt said, slowly drifting off into sleep.

Thomas held him for awhile, glancing around the room. When his eyes fell on the clock, he noticed it was past 7:00 pm. They were serving dinner, and neither Newt or him had ate in awhile. He waited a few more minutes before he slowly slid Newt off of his lap and onto the bed. He covered him up before heading back down to the cafeteria. Thomas saw all of his friends sitting down eating at a table, and once his friends' spotted him, they shouted at him. 

Thomas walked over to his friends' table, smiling as he saw all their happy faces.

"Hey! Where's Newt?" Minho asked.

"He's sleeping. Neither of us ate and it was getting late, so I was going to bring our food back to the room."

"Alright. Just don't forget we have the trial at 10 tomorrow," Minho said.

"I won't," Thomas reassured.

"Hey Thomas?" Frypan asked.

"Yeah, Fry?"

"Can you really believe Newt is back? That's crazy," Frypan told him.

Thomas and Minho shared a look. Thomas literally shot Newt, so it did seem impossible for him to be here, but he didn't question it. "Yeah, I know. It's hard to believe." With that, Thomas walked up to the line and grabbed some food. They were having spaghetti, one of Thomas's favorite. He had two trays, one for him, and one for Newt. Thomas walked back to his room slowly, making sure not to drop anything. When he walked in, Newt was still sound asleep. He was snoring quietly, but it was such a cute sight, Thomas almost didn't want to wake him up.

Thomas set the two trays onto a counter that swung over the bed then laid down, cuddling up next to Newt. He kissed the blonde's cheek before gently shaking him awake. "Newt?" He whispered. 

"Mm?" Newt mumbled, but didn't move.

"I brought dinner. I don't know if you're hungry or not, but I thought I should at least wake you up and see."

"Thank you, Tommy," Newt whispered as he rubbed his eyes and sat up. Newt had pieces of hair sticking up in every direction. How that happened to someone that's only been sleeping 15 minutes? Thomas would never know, but it was adorable. Newt blinked slowly, trying to wake up a little more.

Thomas swung the counter over the bed so they could eat. Newt dug in like he was starving, and Thomas smiled to himself as he started eating.

"You've got a little sauce on your face," Thomas said as Newt turned to him.

"Because that's not embarrassing," Newt replied, laughing a little.

Thomas grabbed a napkin and wiped it off his face, smiling as he did so. "Don't worry, you look adorable."

"Do I now?" Newt asked with a smile.

Thomas nodded, and gave Newt a chaste kiss.

Once they finished their dinner, they put the counter back and laid down, cuddling up underneath the blankets while watching tv.

Newt laid his head on Thomas's shoulder and had an arm draped over his waist, and Thomas had his arm around Newt's shoulder. They were watching The Big Bang Theory when Minho walked in. 

Minho looked at Newt and Thomas, smirking. "Whoa. Getting so snuggly already? I might think you two are dating," he joked.

Newt and Thomas both gave Minho a look. "Oh my god! You guys are dating?" Minho asked.

"We never discussed that, no," Newt replied with a small smile.

"Fine. Just don't get all mushy infront of me, alright?" Minho mumbled as he climbed into bed.

"No promises," Newt responded and cuddled into Thomas more.

Minho turned out the lights, and the only thing left on was the tv.

Thomas looked down at Newt and gave him one last kiss before Newt drifted off into sleep. _Maybe this hospital isn't so bad._


	7. Please Read

I just wanted everyone to know that my Tumblr is NewtWasFearless. I plan to start writing more on there where people can send me prompts. So please follow me! I'll probably post more on there than I do on here. If you took the time to actually read this, thank you, and I also will continue to update this story, it's been a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> This series will contain talk of suicide and possible self-harm. If you aren't comfortable with it, please don't read. 
> 
> Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed. Comments and Kudos are always appreciated. :) I will try to update often.


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